WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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