this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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