yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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