Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
