We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
