Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
