Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
