he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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