my room smells like sperm. sweet.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
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I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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