Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
