Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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