I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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