Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
