My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
