theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
BRING THE BAGELS
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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