i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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