I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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