whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I met the friendliest cop last night
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
