I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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