Come see our sink grown plant.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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