I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
