She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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