so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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