I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
