If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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