My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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