I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
