I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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