worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
