You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
