I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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