Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
