So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
