I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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