Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
