ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
