im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
