there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
