i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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