Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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