My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize