i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize