i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My pussy is not your playground.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How external is "for external use only"?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All I want is dick and wine.
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