do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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