I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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