You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
