Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

you're bored at work aren't you?

(703): View more from Virginia

I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk

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(707): View more from California

They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.

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(971): View more from Oregon

the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?

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(410): View more from Maryland

just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?

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(210): View more from Texas

The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced

(210): View more from Texas

The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks

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(514): View more from Quebec

I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?

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(561): View more from Florida

That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.

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