That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.