no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think people are normalizing furries
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...