if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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