I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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