So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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