We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
