I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
