you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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