No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
