I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
