Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
where am i from again
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
True strength comes from lack of pants
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
