Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just cut my nipple shaving
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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