Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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