seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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