Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
