ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
