hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize