We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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